Once we got moved in it seemed like a fresh start! However, you can't move very far forward when your dragging loads of emotional baggage. For the last 5-6 months, both of us has been exhausted. We would come home from school or work and just want to sleep. Constantly lethargic, wanting to just sleep all day and anxiety about the little things in life. Honestly, Sean and I probably needed to go on a little something to help us move forward, but we didn't so the process was a tad bit longer haha.
Simply, emotional baggage not only keeps us from moving forward and progressing, it makes life a whole lot harder than it needs to be!
I found myself reading Elder Hollands talk- Like a Broken Vessel, and there was a part that really stuck out to me. "In preventing illness whenever possible, watch for the stress indicators in yourself and in others, you may be able to help. As with your automobile, be alert to rising temperatures, excessive speed, or a tank low on fuel. When you face “depletion depression,” make the requisite adjustments. Fatigue is the common enemy of us all—so slow down, rest up, replenish, and refill. Physicians promise us that if we do not take time to be well, we most assuredly will take time, later on, to be ill."
I have often said infertility made me extremely aware of my body. I can read and recognize my cycle without any tests. Yet, through the process, I forgot to be aware of my emotional state. I was so worried about Sean, I forgot to take care of myself. Obviously, it was just a recipe for disaster.
"Whatever your struggle, my brothers, and sisters—mental or emotional or physical or otherwise—do not vote against the preciousness of life by ending it! Trust in God. Hold on in His love. Know that one day the dawn will break brightly and all shadows of mortality will flee. Though we may feel we are “like a broken vessel,” as the Psalmist says, we must remember, that vessel is in the hands of the divine potter. Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed. While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind."
Even when life seems like a low tide eventually a high tide will come. I think Sean and I needed a change. We needed to change together. Many, MANY times we both tried to change independently, but again, we were making it harder than it needed to be. Of course, it would be easier for us to change together and have the support system! Why do we always try to do everything by ourselves?
Wanna know what we changed?
1. When we go to bed, we plug in our phones, and we don't touch them until we wake up in the morning.
2. We have made a continuous effort to kneel down and pray in the morning and evening. Sure its easier to pray laying down in bed, but there is something unifying in kneeling with your spouse in prayer.
3. Being honest. Being honest with your feelings and emotions isn't easy, but it is essential for us to continually build that emotional intimacy. An extra bonus is getting out some of those kept up emotions!
4. Attempting to go to bed earlier and getting up earlier! Still a work in progress, but we are getting there.
5. Diet and exercise. Still a work in progress, but it has helped A Lot.
6. Medication- no shame whatsoever!
7. A change in Sean's major. Sean officially changed his major to biology with an emphasis in neuroscience. We feel really good about this change and its potential outcomes.
8. Scheduling a time to go to the temple and date night. No brainer there!
9. Having faith. I was waiting to try more procedures to get pregnant until we were more settled in life. I realized I wasn't having any faith in Sean, us, and God. So, we will be trying some procedures to hopefully get pregnant in the next couple months. Fingers crossed!!!
10. We are choosing to take control. Choosing to make changes in our life.
So if you feel like your stuck in a rut. Maybe even a broken vessel? Know there is light coming. Know that you can be healed. Be patient with yourself. Get to know yourself emotionally. Make simple changes in your life to bring you peace and happiness. Most of all if you need help- get it! There is absolutely no shame. I LOVE counseling. I think everyone could use it!
"If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation."
I hope we can become a culture of taking emotional health seriously. I hope we can become a culture where honesty is valued and appreciated. I hope we can be a culture where we can respond with love to people who are hurting (and may not show it in an appropriate way). I hope that we can all chose to become a little better and empty our bags!
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