Infertility: A letter to my struggling reader

Hello,

My struggling reader

So I may know you, and I may not. I get a lot of messages ( around 20-30 per blog), and most of the time it's from one of my friends sending another friend to the blog. I'm glad that my messages are getting out there, but I'm sad that you can connect to what I'm saying. I'm sad that you feel I am "voicing what you want to voice." Why? Because infertility sucks.

So this letter is to you. Yep. You.

I want you to know that you are strong.

I want you to know that you are valued.

I want you to know that you are not "broken"

I want you to know that it's hard on all marriages.

I want you to know its hard on all relationships.

I want you to know that you don't have to be silent.

I want you to know that these trials can make you stronger.

I want you to know that you have a unique tribe of men and women who know similar feelings and want to help you.

I want you to know that I'm sorry for comments that hurt.

I want you to know that I know every month is hard.

I want you to know that I know its hard to face your spouse with negative news.

I want you to know that having a miscarriage doesn't mean it's your fault.

I want you to know that if your a male that having infertility doesn't make you less of a man.

I want you to know that your voice matters.

I want you to know its okay to cry.

I want you to know that I know it hurts when all of your friends are pregnant.

I want you to know that I understand the guilt you feel when others happiness makes you sad.

I want you to know that I know it hurts when you see children that would be the same age of one of your losses.

I want you to know its okay to mourn what you thought would be.

I want you to know it doesn't make you less of a parent to have a baby in an alternative way.

I want you to know that you won't feel lost forever.

I want you to know that it's okay to be mad.

I want you to know that it's okay to be sad.

I want you to know that it's okay to be happy.

I want you to know that I understand you hate taking those pills.

I want you to know I know it's always hard- regardless if you have kids already.

Most of all I want you to know that you are not alone in any of this. I hear you, crying in the shower. I'm pretty sure we all do. I want you to know how truly beautiful and brave you are to get out of bed. How strong you are to "try again". You can do this. I can do this. We can do this.

If I can encourage you to do just one thing it would be to use your voice. You have a story people need to hear. You have the opportunity to help bridge communications.

Also, if there is something you would like me to write about please let me know. If you are not ready, to use your voice yet, just know I will support you in any way I can. -Hugs-